Saturday, August 8, 2009

Men are NOT Monogamous by Nature!!!!

Last week I was amazed to be part of a discussion with my Pakistani friends about women and relationship. I was surprisingly walked away after listening to various thoughts and many convinced that a woman is merely a sex toy!!!! I was taken aback and started thinking about all that.

I have come to conclusion that men are sexually vulnerable. I am not saying as if I do not get enticed but I approach relationship beyond sex.

The discussions started, a married guy was stuck with his kid at a function and he was roaming around. The guy indicated to me that after having kids, one has to go through the hassle of looking after kids whereas mother opts for fun. Anyways, my reply was simple, if I don’t like looking after kids then I may not produce them.

After the discussion, many friends believed that if one doesn’t intend to produce kids then relationship with women is merely about sex. To me, a relationship is based on multi-dimension, which, to me is sharing commonalities and cherishing life be it a small moment to an intimate one. Lately, I shared an interesting fact with one of my female friend, it was bit surprising though, I noticed around me, 90% ‘not exaggerating’ of my married friends are not into monogamous relationship, most of them are informally into polygamy but rarely one would find any married women into polyandry. Ironically most of the guys boast about loudly. Whenever I talk about relationship, words like respect and intimacy comes in my mind, most of my friends simply laugh out loud and enforce a one night relationship and believe that its about physical relationship, rest is crap !!! I came across an interesting article it says “Men are NOT monogamous by nature, society forced them to be......for millions of years, men enjoyed sex with multiple partners, without any social pressure. Monogamy is a new phenomenon !!!!!”

Study says,“You see, in any animal species where there are few offspring born, and the infant mortality rate is high (as it is with gerbils, whales, dogs, giraffes and humans), the males are "wired" to seek multiple females for mating. This is how they help to insure that their genes get passed on to the next generation.

Interestingly, females are programmed to "pair bond" - that is, to try to create and sustain a monogamous relationship! By having a second adult around to protect, gather food, and raise their young, this is how females help to insure that THEIR genes get passed along as well!

In actuality pair bonding is a relatively new thing to humans - we've only been doing it for 5,000 years! Since we've been on this planet, (6 million years), we've been doing it "nature's way" for 99.92% of the time we've been here!

So, what does this have to do with porn or sex? You see, men (males) are compelled to try to mate with as many women (females) as possible. However, they want to try to meet the expectations of society by staying in committed, monogamous relationships too.

There are people believe that , don't try to force men to be monogamous - you're just going against nature, and his natural programming, and you know what happens when you try to fight nature - nature wins! Instead, simply be the woman for whom he chooses to be monogamous!”. Interesting read, give it a thought.


Saba said...

Imran, how many years of your life have you spent in Pakistan?
A personal question, dont mind please.
It is against the law of nature for a muslim guy no to see women as a sex object and a child-delivery machine. Then why you? One of my male friends dared to be fight agianst the "nature" like you. But he gave up. As you say, people laughed at him. He was accused of not being a real man.
I wish there were more muslim men, who share your opinion.

M. Younas said...

A lot of copy paste stuff... OOps sorry its your blog you can post or paste its up to you. but try to to put something from your side..umm.. a little bit value addition..would be better for you my friend.

Imran Baloch said...

@Saba: I lived my life in Pakistan but traveled from Japan to US.

Well, I don’t care How every Tom Dick and Harry approaches a relationship with women. I move on the way I feel like.

I have deep respect for women, I have found few of the best friends, all of them are women, I do feel their perspective and I am bound to respect them.

If respecting women, make guys to raise eyebrows in the context of someones sexuality i dont care !!!!


Well, if you read the text I initiated a discussion to come to conclusion .I explored various studies, in my write up I referred that I came across a study and study says etc.

What is harm in initiating a discussion, followed by relevant study. You read my previous posts, you will have fairly
good idea.

As LUMS graduate, I understand what it means when it comes to refereeing to someone else’s study.

I am glad you took your time to write feedback, keep visiting. I would have loved hearing more about the issue discussed in blog instead of your judgmental comment.

Imran Baloch

Anonymous said...

you are so sweet :) thankyou for
showing me there are some guys out there that appreciate the very profitable OTHER dimensions of a relationship-deeper communication, enjoying moments in eachother's company

i wish you the best

Imran Baloch said...


Thanks for the comments and sweet words. Keep visiting the blog.


Anonymous said...

Its so obvious that most men are not monogamous. 75% of married men cheat. Jesus addressed this by going even further. He said to lust after a woman was the same as cheating. On almost all of my dates, I've observed the guys ogling other women. Most of them for quite a while. Its disgusting, & it makes me not trust them. Singleness is preferable to that nonsense.