Men are NOT Monogamous by Nature!!!!

Last week I was amazed to be part of a discussion with my Pakistani friends about women and relationship. I was surprisingly walked away after listening to various thoughts and many convinced that a woman is merely a sex toy!!!! I was taken aback and started thinking about all that.

I have come to conclusion that men are sexually vulnerable. I am not saying as if I do not get enticed but I approach relationship beyond sex.

The discussions started, a married guy was stuck with his kid at a function and he was roaming around. The guy indicated to me that after having kids, one has to go through the hassle of looking after kids whereas mother opts for fun. Anyways, my reply was simple, if I don’t like looking after kids then I may not produce them.

After the discussion, many friends believed that if one doesn’t intend to produce kids then relationship with women is merely about sex. To me, a relationship is based on multi-dimension, which, to me is sharing commonalities and cherishing life be it a small moment to an intimate one. Lately, I shared an interesting fact with one of my female friend, it was bit surprising though, I noticed around me, 90% ‘not exaggerating’ of my married friends are not into monogamous relationship, most of them are informally into polygamy but rarely one would find any married women into polyandry. Ironically most of the guys boast about loudly. Whenever I talk about relationship, words like respect and intimacy comes in my mind, most of my friends simply laugh out loud and enforce a one night relationship and believe that its about physical relationship, rest is crap !!! I came across an interesting article it says “Men are NOT monogamous by nature, society forced them to be......for millions of years, men enjoyed sex with multiple partners, without any social pressure. Monogamy is a new phenomenon !!!!!”

Study says,“You see, in any animal species where there are few offspring born, and the infant mortality rate is high (as it is with gerbils, whales, dogs, giraffes and humans), the males are "wired" to seek multiple females for mating. This is how they help to insure that their genes get passed on to the next generation.

Interestingly, females are programmed to "pair bond" - that is, to try to create and sustain a monogamous relationship! By having a second adult around to protect, gather food, and raise their young, this is how females help to insure that THEIR genes get passed along as well!

In actuality pair bonding is a relatively new thing to humans - we've only been doing it for 5,000 years! Since we've been on this planet, (6 million years), we've been doing it "nature's way" for 99.92% of the time we've been here!

So, what does this have to do with porn or sex? You see, men (males) are compelled to try to mate with as many women (females) as possible. However, they want to try to meet the expectations of society by staying in committed, monogamous relationships too.

There are people believe that , don't try to force men to be monogamous - you're just going against nature, and his natural programming, and you know what happens when you try to fight nature - nature wins! Instead, simply be the woman for whom he chooses to be monogamous!”. Interesting read, give it a thought.

Short Stay at Love Hotel; An Exotic Japanese Creativity!!!

I have noticed that Japanese are generally reputed to be "good at copying," yet for some reason they seem to exercise the highest level of erotic originality in the world. . From sopu "soaplands" (bathhouses) and imekura "image clubs" (costume role-playing) and deriheru "delivery health" (call-a-massage), mainstays of the sex-hire industry, to hi-tech adult toys, to lust-and-violence manga comics and pick-a-girl fuzoku magazines, the Japanese creative spirit would seem to be fixated on things erotic . During my last year Tokyo visit, I came across capsule hotels right next to railway stations. Small capsules type sleeping space for the people who want to spend night and move on. However, I didn’t know about the concept of Love Hotels, I just came to know through BBC that during present day recession Love Hotels are booming in Japan.

 A love hotel “called RABU HOTERU in Japanese” is a type of short-stay hotel found in Japan operated primarily for the purpose of allowing couples privacy to have sexual intercourse. Love hotels can usually be identified using symbols such as hearts and the offer of a room rate for a "rest" as well as for an overnight stay. The period of a "rest" varies, typically ranging from one to three hours .

Entrances are discreet and interaction with staff is minimized, with rooms often selected from a panel of buttons and the bill settled by pneumatic tube, automatic cash machines, or a pair of hands behind a pane of frosted glass.

Love hotels in Japan, nowadays they're calling them "fashion hotels, or” boutique hotels." Beds that revolve or vibrate, or see-through partitions between bed and bath areas, or "mirrored rooms" with mirrors larger than 1 square-meter--that is, any and all places equipped with "facilities not required for the basic purposes of guest lodging fall under the rubric of sex-related businesses, not hotels and inns. I am amazed the way Japanese keep their originality when it comes to love, erotica and sex !!!!

Why Women Cheat??

We have so far heard a lot about a man cheating a woman but these days it’s equally relevant for woman. A study says, “the differences in men and women cheating is that men often cheat for physical reasons while women often have emotional reasons for cheating on their partner”. It was interesting to learn that the reasons why women cheat include loneliness, revenge, boredom and self esteem.

Way back I read a book Men Are from Mars & Women from Venus, it is so relevant that both planet approach relationship differently. Lately i had various discussion with my friend, on the the subject of men and women cheating , recently, I came across an interesting read that describes Physical and Emotional Reasons behind cheating. Loneliness is one of the primary reasons that women seek out affairs and cheat on their partner. If a woman is not receiving the attention she feels she deserves in a relationship, she may be tempted to seek that attention elsewhere and become involved in an affair.

Revenge has also become and increasing factor in why women cheat. The modern woman is no longer willing to sit back and accept the fact that their partner may cheat on them. If a woman confirms or even just holds a suspicion that their partner is cheating on them, they may be driven to engage in an affair of their own as an act of revenge.

Boredom may also factor into why women cheat. Their current relationship may have fallen into a rut and lost the excitement that it possessed in the early stages of its existence. Another reason why women cheat is a lack of self esteem. Women may feel that they are not getting an adequate amount of admiration from their partner and they may be tempted to cheat to affirm that they are still attractive and desirable. Men are not the only ones who cheat on their partners. It is becoming more and more common for women to be guilty of cheating. While women are beginning to cheat as often as men the reasons why women cheat are much different than the reasons why men cheat. The reasons for women cheating are tied tightly to emotional reasons .

Study finding is so relevant that even one can trace the same reasons in every society, be it Pakistani or any other.

Selling Virginity for a Cause!!

Sex has always been a taboo subject; it is viewed differently in every society. Recently Alina an 18 year old Romanian virgin surprised the world, auctioning her virginity on internet to a stranger to pay for her school fee. It may seem good to few and many may raise their eyebrows, to me, in the end of the day it is the personal decision. Many may question, be it once or twice or thrice it is just like prostitution. Selling sex is banned in many civilized societies be it US or Canada but sex with consent is a personal decision in free societies. At times to me norms and values seem too subjective, it is at times very difficult to agree what majority preaches or one may defy majority and move on with his or her personal set of norms and values. As human society is progressing and moving on, so is the social perspective towards sex and sexuality. At times I fail to understand why women are subject to harsh social controls when it comes to sexuality, whereas men enjoy sexual freedom without any attached stigma. Well, coming back to Alina, she spent the night with the Italian businessman after the mystery stranger bid £8,782 and flew her to a Venice hotel. Alina — who said she needed the cash to study computing at university — revealed. Alina, who underwent two medical examinations to prove she was a virgin, admitted: “I felt a bit nervous.” But she said of her first sexual experience: “I liked it.”

The petite Romanian added: “I hoped I'd meet a nice man, like in the film Pretty Woman. The teenager from Caracal insisted: “It’s not like prostitution because it was a one-off — and I did this for good reasons.”

Sex on Zamzama Street, Oohhhhhh, Sounds Liberal Pakistan

Tonight I was getting bored at my apartment; my coolest Arab friend offered me coffee. We ended up at CIAO, on Zamzama Street, Clifton. While parking my car, we guys saw a black tinted car, with AC on, a couple making out in the parking lot just near CIAO. It has hardly been a week I wrote about Sex on the Beach in Dubai, here comes Paki guys losing their sexual vigor on the street. Well, as long as they were not bothering us, at least I ignored. But at CIAO I ended up with an intellectual discussion with my Arab friend. He was noticing the car from upper window of CIAO; to distract him I started asking lots of questions. My questions were; 1) Was it right to do it public? 2) If it were Saudi what would have been the reaction. 3) Should society stop all with force? 4) Or we should feel ok as long as they are not bothering us. At least we both agreed that personal freedom has limits, public places should be spared, and they can do whatever they want elsewhere in privacy “within limits of freedom” Question comes, who is to decide the limit or interpret the limits of freedom! I pushed on one point, isn’t it the duty of society to not to shy away, shouldn’t we educate our kids socially, shouldn’t we break the taboo of sexual discussion within the family???????? Why we always think about lashing kids or youngsters, why do we always find brute force as only answer, justified by religion. My friend made me laugh, he shared, if there were Saudi “Mutawa; the religious police” on Zamzama, he would have lashed the couple and kicked them outside the city for one year. Imagine if Pakistan had Mutawa, lashing couple naked in front of Costa Coffee on Zamzama Street and kicking them out to TANDO ADAM or GUJRAT ;-) Anyways, I always push for opening up, discussing, speaking up….sex is natural…let’s not shy away, at least from healthy discussion. We can only get rid of pitfall of sexual revolution through educating our kids about right and wrong. But I am afraid, our society is wearing social mask, media influence will lure kids or youngsters to explore sexual terrain, get intoxicated with toxic pleasure of sex. 

Dubai Says No Sex-on-Beach Please!!!!!

 Today I was browsing bbc for news update, came across news on acceptable behavior in Dubai. It says a British man and woman have been sentenced to three months in jail in Dubai after being found guilty of having sex on beach. I started wondering, if something is allowed and acceptable in hotel rooms, people are liberal enough to accept the strip bars. If everything is acceptable then why there is such hue and cry on having sex on beach. Even people have been arrested for just kissing and hugging in public…..hmmmmmm... But on the other hand it’s imperative to respect the local customs. what do you think :) To me the hypocrisy sucks………………….. Moral of the story is …..Dude, avoid the wrong places ;-)

Sexplosion Hitting Hard the Conservative Societies; Is Pakistan Next?

Chile was once one of Latin America’s most sexually conservative countries. Today, youth of Chile are bumping and grinding to a reggaetón beat in urban discos, girls ages 14 to 18 are stripping off their shirts, revealing bras, tattoos and nipple rings. Sexplosion news on the front page of New York Times World News section and it made me wonder, what really made the most traditional society that followed social mores changed drastically. I came to know that there is unprecedented spending on technology and internet broad band. Chile’s youths are living in a period of sexual exploration that, academics and government officials say, is like nothing the country has witnessed before. “Chile’s youth are clearly having sex earlier and testing the borderlines with their sexual conduct. The sexual awakening is happening through a booming industry for 18-and-under parties, an explosion of Internet connectivity and through Web sites like Fotolog, where young people trade suggestive photos of each other and organize weekend parties, some of which have drawn more than 4,500 teenagers. The online networks have emboldened teenagers to express themselves in ways that were never customary in Chile’s conservative society. “We are not the children of the dictatorship; we are the children of democracy,” said Michele Bravo, 17, at a recent afternoon party. “There is much more of a rebellious spirit among young people today. There is much more freedom to explore everything.” Sex education in public schools is badly lagging, and the pregnancy rate among girls under 15 has been on the rise, according to the Health Ministry. Chilean society was shaken last year when a video of a 14-year-old girl eagerly performing oral sex on a teenage boy on a Santiago park bench was discovered on a video-hosting Web site. It made me wonder and to relate all in the context of conservative Pakistani society and impact of broad band internet and technology. Our society is drastically changing; teenage sexual expression in certain class is increasing. Teen girls or guys experimenting, exploring sex and trying out all sorts of drugs “may be” out of curiosity. Lack of proper sex education, may affect the generation badly, may result in teen pregnancies, excessive use of drug and alcohol, may result in loss of generation. All sort of gay parties in farm houses in suburbs of Karachi or Lahore are in groove, let’s see what comes next. Use of Hash “Katti” drugs is increasing in schools as well as in top business schools “I have witnessed myself”. Do we need to open up, talk and educate our kids or let us remain mum and let teen generation to explore and experiment the way Chilean society is doing?????

Check out Gay Party Video "In Pakistani Style in Islamabad"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VRm97Y76xg

Wanna Be Pakis & no RESERVATIONS.

Today I came across Dawn News program no RESERVATIONS, musician Ahmed Ali Butt of RUBBER BAND and Nadia Naipur ‘I don’t know who they are” were the guests.

Kamiar, the host carried the talk well but all of a sudden talk started with breast implants, mango boobs, rubber band, condom, safe sex…all out of the context.

I wonder, what makes Pakis to be wanna be, out of the context…speak in foreign accent and talk a lot about sex.

Even, at times I get to see wanna be naturists at my gym SPA, if Gora crowd takes naked steam and sauna, we Pakis follow them to look cool…..

A hollow nation marching on the streets, one is trying to be more GORA than a Gora and other is making poor crowd more Arab than an Arabic

What…. Pre Marital Virginity Loss Party in Pakistan!!

Guys, you would be surprised to read a new version of STAG ‘guys’ party in town esp. in Karachi. It is called STAG PARTY “Pre Martial Virginity Loss Celebration”, OMG, hard to believe and see the way Pakistanis are catching up with the world.

Most of the party animals are un-married and they share their experiences of virginity loss. It is considered a prestige if someone losses it to a European along with a blast ‘super party’

It reminds me of North African post female clitoral circumcision party…..

Let us see what else is coming up on fast track esp. for Pakistani society.

Key clubs are another groovy concept, making en-route to Karachi.

MISYAR; Marriage of Convenience or HALAL SEX

Recently I came across the word Misyar; it is a Sunni marriage contract with a difference. In Misyar, the man can marry another woman without informing his first wife from a traditional marriage. He has no obligation to support wife, there is no dowry to be paid. Ironically it is not public and kept secret.

It is practiced in Saudi, to them it is common belief that if woman remain single she will get into unlawful sex and guy should also marry three or four woman so that unlawful sex could be avoided.

In Egypt ‘short contractual marriages are called URFI marriage. If any woman is single or divorced, MISYAR can help get away with stigma of being single woman.

Marriage can last from 48 hours to a year with no obligation…..depend on sexual lust & orgasmic temperament.

Article hit me hard; we talk a lot about West & immoral sexual openness. Well, yes they are immoral but what is Misyar;

A contract, pay and have sex and dump after 48 hours, no obligation. To me moral difference in Arabic and Western society is simple.

Arab eat Halal chicken West eat Haram chicken, isn’t subjective, the notion of Halal Sex & Haram Sex !!!!!!

If one screws around & brand short term sex HALAL…..it is morally correct but straight short term Western sex is immoral and Haram .

Guys, world seems to me very very subjective so are religious-cultural norms.

Read this "http://www.dawn.com/2006/07/24/int14.htm"

Disgusting Sexual Harassment!!

I just fail to understand, why people resort to disgusting sexual harassment and in most of the cases victims are women and at times men.

If one is interested in having a relationship with someone, there are dignified and acceptable ways but opting for harassment is mind boggling.

If one looks at the definition it says “Sexual Harassment is any unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature." however on the other side, flirtatiousness, hormones or sexual desire is not forms of harassment.

World is opening up, yet people want to fulfill their desires through unwelcoming sexual advances…simply disgusting.