Friday, October 16, 2009

Please Don't Kiss in Public, LUMS Bans Kissing???



As LUMS student, I am sad to hear that premier institute has taken away the personal rights of students, when they announced ban on KISSING on campus. I had been following the email threads and discussions on pros and cons on Public Display of Affection, but I tend no to agree with argument that anything against the social norms should be banned.

Issue was raised when a student peck her boyfriend on the cheek during Ramadan. It was not a French Kiss rather a simple PECK.

Public display of affection is a debatable issue; everyone has his or her limits regarding how much is too much!! Socially if I look at, on the one hand there are many of my friends who do not shake hands on the other hand there are female friends who shake hands as well as kiss on the cheek. To me it is one’s personal choice and matter of comfort, no one should have right to dictate someone what is right or wrong.

Behind the doors as hypocrite society everything is acceptable but in public, majority wears a social mask and looks pious and expects others to behave as per THEIR defined framework. Was Peck on the cheek alarming or during Ramadan, well its personal choice if someone doesn’t follow religion, it is his or her choice. It doesn’t mean that if someone doesn’t follow the defined code of behavior, he or she is being disrespectful to religion or society. Come on, peck on the cheeks is simply a sweet natural human behavior, what is harm in it.

I have seen LUMS in harmony, students working under the umbrella of LUMS religious society, whatever they do they have liberty, similarly music society , Arts and Drama society, girls and guys attending prayers in the central mosque or students dancing in campus concerts, girls in Hejab and girls in Capri’s or Jeans with low neck are not frowned upon. To me, as long as if anything doesn’t affect others people should not have any issue.

I have seen female students sitting on the lap of fellow male students, why one should raise eyebrows, it is such a simple and natural human behavior.

Universities are places, students do not follow conventional wisdom and norms, Hippie culture was the by product of campuses, students defied the prevailing culture. LUMS is a place I came across students questioning the existence of God and relevance of religion, it is positive thing that one must question everything under the sun but at the same time one should not have any right to disrespect or hurt anyone’s feelings.

I guess to regulate student behavior is not going to help; if someone wants to get intimate I hardly think anything would stop him or her.

Its better to discuss the pros and cons of socially acceptable behavior and let students decide out of choice to practice socially acceptable norms or go their own away.

I expect LUMS would relook this; else Student bodies should challenge the behavior regulation.
This blog excerpts published in prestigious Indian media;
Zee News
Deccan Herald
Times of India
The Statesman

10 comments:

Choc Heaven said...

As a LUMS graduate of 3 years ago, i am amazed by this new rule banning PDA - it violates everything LUMS is supposed to stand for . Doesn't it claim to be one of the most "tolerant" institutions we have? Personal freedom of choice and responsibility for one's actions are what you learn in college - having rules like this will do nothing except create disruption.

myonlineuniversity said...

I would like to comment on Imran Baloch following sentence.

Behind the door as hypocrite society everything is acceptable but in public majority wears a social mask and looks pious and expects others to behave as per their defined framework.

Everybody know what mom and dad do behind the door, you want them to do in public. Society must live under some law, without law, it will be an animal word, where might is right works.

Imran Baloch said...

@ Choc Heaven: as LUMS fellow ..i agree with your thoughts.

@ Myonlineuniversity: Who gives majority to make laws for us, in the past it was norm to live in jungle naked, somewhere someone challenged it and here we are.

Why do we need to impose what majority agree upon...let people decide what is right or wrong as long as it doesn’t affect others.

So you think only no to sex in public makes us HUMAN & different from ANIMALS!!!

There are various other behavioral aspects that are pre-requisite for us as society to qualify as HUMAN!! Look around our society...its completely intolerant.

Its norm to be hypocrite, majority practice it…..shall I follow it, majority backbite, shall I follow it, majority lie, shall I follow it, majority is unethical, shall I follow it, majority is intolerant shall I follow it, majority consider women a sex toy, shall I follow it, majority is chauvinist, shall I follow it, majority is uncivilized, shall I follow it !!!!!!!!!

Why society doesn’t let us to be ourselves, as long as we are not affecting others…….

Anonymous said...

i am also awestruck with this ridiculousness. the thing is lums is highjacked by talibanees. the moment i saw faculty dressed in tableeghee getup , that v day i knew that lums is gng down. if anything needs to be banned it should be the sympathisers of terrorists. we shld kick out all moulvee faculty and students from lums. morons. in my mba class one maulvee faculty (a cracked pot) told guys that the reason ppl like him tell guys to not mix with girls is that they cant theirself enjoy that freedom. and that how can i teach when i see a beautiful girl in class wearing sleeveless. perverted sickooo. he cldnt even look at girls while talking to them, cz merely by looking at girls will turn him on i guess. down with talabaness, and down with moulvess.
LUMS admin is giving in to the pressure of these narrow minded, barbarians.

hasan mehmood said...

salam!
brother dnt think so that you are a muslim or evean a civilized human.according to you kissing is a normal behavior and it should be allowed in public.i say it should not even be banned in public but administration should search for the students kissing in private and expel them from university.

bingo said...

@ hassan mehmood
dude...u r crazy...i pity the wife u will hv...cz kissing is such an abnrmal behavr for u

also plz worry abt yr islam and yr grave...and letus woorry abt our islam....no body needs yr certificate

OK?
tum logoon ki islaam ki taikhadaree mentality nai aaj is mulk ko talabaneeyoon ka yerghmaal bana diya hai

i bet u r one traitor talabanee..or there sympathizer...

myonlineuniversity said...

@Imran Baloch,
No body has rights to make social laws, Social laws are already written in Quran, you just need to follow them.

In Islam, no one can say mind your own business, because we are all brothers, and your business is my business, if you follow the wrong path, whole Muslim society has the right to correct you.

If society is intollerant (you mean those who pratice Islam strictly) then see the posts of those who really want to kiss in public, they are intollenrent too, look at the language they are using in these posts.

You will be insane if you follow any bad practice, which become the norms of majority's life. You will go to your grave and will be answerable to your deeds.

I may be wrong, but what I found neither you nor taliban are following what Allah SWT has said in Quran. Taleban, and the people that belong to your school of thought are extremist at their end.

In short you don't have to follow anyone path, just read Quran, and what you understand follow it, you will never go astray.

Don't listen to the people who say, that you can't understand Quran by yourself, remember this book was for the Budoo of arabia, the most jahil people on the earth.


@ANONYMOUS:

LOOK AT YOUR LANGUAGE, YOU ARE MORE EXTREMIST THEN ANYONE. MAN you really need to read and understand Quran, it will be good for your life and hereafter. I just can't imagine/believe what happens to Pakistani students.

@BINGO:
Taleban ka masla siyasi hay, muzhabi nahi. Don't worry about hassan mehmood, he and his wife will really have good time inshaAllah. Just be careful about your future, when your family member will be following your path in front of you. By the way, Quran named those people as "DOUUSSE", they are the people who don't mind if their family member do the corrupt practices, such as kissing other jenders or some more activities, and they will be in the lowest depth of Hell for ever, with zero/no chance of coming out of Hell.

Talebans are not only extremist, but terrorist too, and look at your word and sentences in your post, you are not different too.

bradraan said...

@myonlineuniv

bravo bravo
everyone who disagrees with u need to go back and read quran...you have nailed it all....u know abt e thing...even whose wife and family will be happy and whose will not be.,,,is it possible that u r not able ti understand quran from your puney (meaning little) brain
bradar..aap koi najomee hain...ya buhut baray alaam....

bahi sahab aap ki english bhi bhut buree hai....magar zahar hai english furungiyoon ki zaban hai...or is mai maharat hasil kernay ki koi zaroorat naheen.....

aap ko yai bhi sumujh hai ...kai talabaan syasii masla hai...isi liya wo khulay bazaar mai aik bachee ko bahi say jootay marwa rahai thai...wah wah.....kya islam hai....

or aap ko islam dosray kai mamlaat pai dukhul dainaee ki puree ijazaat daitaa hai...yar main nay quran kai dafa turjumay sa purha hai....muj ko tu yai ijazaat quran mai kaheen nazar nahee ai......aap apna adress dai dain takai mai apsay taleemat hasal ker loon....kyoonkay aap ko sub kuch pata hai...aap baray intellectual hai....
qasam say baray jahil insaan hai aap....zara shurum krain

hasan mehmood said...

salam!
bro i think u r muslim coz ur father was a muslim.u dnt hav ur own interpretation of islam.as for as my islam is concerned i think i am an average muslim.but i am the future of pakistan.jst wait and watch.after 5 or 6 yrs u will see me as a leader.a revolutionary leader.mein talibans k bilkul khilaaf hon.they are jst mad pashtun dogs.nthing else backed by hindu jew and christain zynests.how could u think tht i am a taliban supporter?baqi yeh k meri english itni buri nahi magar achi b nae q k i belong to a little town where it is nt used frequently.aur rahi firangi wali baat tau aap ko waqiai herangi hu gi k mujhe gooron se nafrat hai.
fi amaan allah

Bingo said...

I found this poem at a LUMS forum recently written by a girl "Malia". I think it says it all.

ملا نے سکھایا اک سیانی کو سبق

کسی زن کے قریب آے نہ کوئی نر

ہے اک یہ ہی رب کا امر

اسی پر تو بس کرنا فکر

اسی پر دین ہے قائم

اسی سے ہے روسّں قبر

اسی سے بنیں قومیں امر

کسی زن کے قریب آے نہ کوئی نر

ہے فرنگی کا مکر Freewill

دخل ذاتیات ہے رب کا امر

بازارمیں بہن کو جوتے لگا کر سوچتا پسر

سوات کا واقعہ ہے قوموں کا فخر

لگائیں زنا بالجبر پراندھی بچی کو کوڑے اگر

تو پھر بھی نہ کرے کوئی فکر

کہ عقل کا استعمال ہے گناہ کبر

یہ قیمتی ہے صرف تو اسے نہ کر

بس ھاتھ میں تو اپنے اب پکڑ

اک موٹا سا ڈنڈا ذرا

اور جا بجا گھنٹی ہر اک کہ گھر

کھل کہ تانک جھانک تو کیا کر

کہ کسی زن کے قریب آے نہ کوئی نر

ہے یہ ہی اک میرے رب کا امر

جو تیرا ہمسایہ گیا بھوک سی مر

کیوں تجھے ھوتی ہے فکر

گر گیا راہ پر جو کسی کا پدر

تو کیوں کر کرے کوئی فکر

بیاہ دے قرآن سے بیٹی اگر

نہ تو پھر بھی کوئی کرے ذکر

چھین لیا کسی نے کسی کا در

بس پھر بھی نہ تو ہو مضطر

یہ سب معاملات کہ تو ہو غافل ذرا

کہ آ سکے زن کہ قریب یہ مردود نر

جھوٹ چوری رشوت سب پر تو کرنا صبر

بس کسی ناری کہ قریب ایے نہ نر

کہ اسی سے بنی قومیں امر

سائنس کی کبھی نہ تو کرنا فکر

معاشیات پر بھی نہ کرنا نظر

اور فنون لطیفہ ہے کیا مکر
کس نے کہا ہے کہ یہ ہے کوئی ہنر

اورانسانیت میں ہے نہیں کوئی ثمر

جب آ گیا ناری کہ قریب کوئی نر