Love Sucks!!! Guys are Asses!!!!

It has been a while I haven’t written anything on relationship & most of the guys even at times my female readers do not like my men bashing !!! Lately I came across an interesting article written by a LUMS student Mahreen Rehman, guys you may disagree or get offended but she has raised an interesting issue.

Missed your ex on valentines day? The deliciously red roses, scrumptious chocolates ‘with love in every bite’? screw you! the truth is, guys are asses! No, literally! You take away the short stubby legs, the poo slobbered tail and add some human limbs and what do you get? VOILA! A guy! Don’t believe me? Let’s do an analysis. Donkeys have fur, guy’s have fur (some girls do too but that’s irrelevant here.). donkeys stink, guys stink. Donkeys are dumb, guys are DUMBER! “oh, sorry was I supposed to call you?”, “am I 3 hours late? was with my boys.” And the list goes on n on.

 I guess what I’m trying to establish here is that we, the superior female species, should know better than to fall for dirty,stinky,hairy animals who think its allright to fart anywhere and everywhere they go. Now, you may disagree with me here and argue that your boyfriend or the guys you know are completely different. DO NOT BE FOOLED, naïve one. It’s all an act. They may outwardly seem gentlemanly but it is innately embedded in their hard drives to be obnoxious, perverted scum. They look at females like they’re pieces of meat, the more scantily dressed, the tastier and the more team testosterone kicks in. these cave men live by a certain code. They will never, EVER sacrifice their way of life for you so do not believe for one second when a guy looks into your eye and tells you he loves you. he’s probably checking out another girl’s reflection in ur glasses or pupils or whatever. The point is, guys are incapable of having deep emotions for a member of the opposite sex. Rule number one of the “stupid code of idiot guy life” is

Bros before hoes. Isn’t it weird how guys do not talk to each other on the phone for more than 10 minutes but once they meet up, their brains become reprogrammed and develop alzheimer’ic tendencies that cause them to forget that they have a girlfriend who is waiting up for them to get done with whatever it is that guys do when they get together. If, by any miracle a guy DOES remember that he is partially committed (in his view) to a girl and mentions this to his ‘bro’s’, they will either (a) discuss the geometry of her curves, (b) plan something in order to meet her friends and thus have access to more ‘meat’ or (c) make fun of how his girlfriend has him bound under ball and chain (even if the poor girl does not,) to such an extent that they will brainwash him into believing that he is being controlled by his (poor) girlfriend and when he does go back to her, he will most probably fight with and tell her that he has to put his foot down and that he needs more guy time with his friends and that he does not care about whatever she feels or has to say about it.

Secondly, WHAT is with this stupid football craze? You want to play the sport, fine by me. Go with your boys, play, have fun , COME BACK in a couple of hours. DON’T TAKE ALL BLOODY DAY! But what is with this stupid obsession of WATCHING football? Somebody please explain to me the thrill of having your eyes glued to the little ball on screen, following its every motion till you have a twisted neck for 2 hours and then the score is 0-0 ? this football match is then followed by pizza and ofcourse, a competition about who can eat the most pieces without puking FOLLOWED by another competition about who can burp the loudest followed by a public flatulence competition. They think it’s fun and funny and even congratulate each other for it . I mean…seriously? This is the species we want to marry? I’m not suggesting that we all become homosexuals. I am merely pointing out the fact that guys and relationships are over rated and Red Goodbye says it perfectly: “now that I’ve loved and now that I’ve lost, what I feel inside says Shakespeare lied”.

Okay so I might have gone a little over board in criticizing the male species. That wasn’t my intention when I started writing this article but I’m guessing the bitterness took over. The point I initially intended to make was that love is over rated. You get nothing out of it but heart ache and maybe a few stupid gifts and some memories that haunt you forever and ever and eat at your insides like maggots feasting on a dead corpse. Don’t fall for a guy who promises you the moon and the stars and the heavens and the earth and everything in between. You will only end up weeping you r eyes out and look horrible the next day. No amount of concealor and hashmi kajol will have you looking normal. Here’s how it starts, he says he adores you and asks you out. Flattered, you accept. You and your girls spend hours giggling over it on the phone and plan your outfit and everything else down to the minutest detail. He shows up before time and you have the most awesome date ever…roses, expensive restaurant and a guy who’s lost in your eyes…legen..DARY! (courtesy Barney Stinson). He drops you back, nothing can sweep the smile off your face for the next couple of days. He calls you all the time and texts you like crazy. He convinces you that he totally loves you till one day..SNAP! he starts calling you less frequently, doesn’t remember any of the stories you tell him, starts spending more and more time with “thE boys”, and when you confront him, you get the famous “it’s not you, it’s me routine”, in other words, “I’m bored baby, I need a newer version with more features*’ AHEM. So he goes off with his friends to ‘heal’ which lasts till ..hmm…let’s see, 2 mins, and your entire life is snatched away from you, leaving you drowning in your own tears. In the wise words of bart simpson, “ I never thought it was humanly possible, but this both sucks and blows”.

To conclude, Mahreen has raised an interesting question but I want to share guys response; “What about the woman's tendencies of being overly clingy, whiny, etc? Can you blame men for craving some space? Why does women's life REVOLVE around that expected phone call? And why does everything come crashing down when he suddenly forgets? People need space, and trust me; true love is not a slave to punctual phone calls. Or incessant text messages.

Men DO fall in love, passionately and selflessly, just as women claim to. And they DO go out of their way to please women they truly love. It happens, not just in chick-flicks, but in real life too. As much as you believe that it doesn’t.

And author just seem to have attracted with the wrong sort, friend! She should loosen up a little; she should know that every man is not a moron. Just like every girl is not a whore !!

“Hang Out With Happy People; It Transfers into You… Avoid Unhappy lot, Its Contagious”

Hey all my unhappy friends, plzzzzzzzzzz avoid interaction with me, else you become happy to enjoy my companionship. At times I interact with people having negative and pessimist thoughts , I feel it really transfers into me, and I also start having negative perspective vis a vis life. I just came to know it’s contagious, hang out with unhappy people, you also become unhappy….. Seriously, I came across an interesting research it says “Happiness is contagious”. The more happy people you know, the more likely you are yourself to be happy. And getting connected to happy people improves a person's own happiness; this was reported in the British Medical Journal. Harvard Medical School Professor believes that "What we are dealing with is an emotional stampede

Study suggests “People with the most social connections -- friends, spouses, neighbors, relatives -- were also the happiest, the data showed. “Each additional happy person makes you happier”.

Study also discovered that happiness is more contagious than unhappiness.

"If a social contact is happy, it increases the likelihood that you are happy by 15 percent and a friend of a friend, or the friend of a spouse or a sibling, if they are happy, increases your chances by 10 percent”. Study also reveals, a happy friend is worth about $20,000…… All my happy friends you are worth $20,000 each to me “not being materialist here :P” my new year resolution is to have an account of happy friends and maximize my friends’ worth “value $ one million”. How about you doing the same, will help me, as well as to you and all others who are connected to you.

Lets make happiness web ;-)

Stop Judging! Stop Bitching !

Lately I had an interesting discussion on relationship, one of my friend shared interesting thought “if one summarizes all interpersonal problems, he or she ends up with one word “communication gap”.

For sure, talking and listening are probably the most important ingredients in healthy relationship. There'll always be tensions and disagreements, but if one communicates well, he or she can overcome almost any problem.

In terms of relationship I classify myself the failed person yet aspiring to learn with every mistake and failure.

Furthermore, an interesting discussion we had in one of the behavioral sciences interactive session, important thing I always consider is that we people always have our judgments about people and situations. These judgments are always subjective perceptions, mostly wrong and usually results in complicated thoughts, lethal & poisonous for healthy relationship.

At times I think how come people have so much time to Bitch & back bite …isn’t it true “life is too short to be nostalgic” !!!!

People in Pakistan Love Poking Their Nose in Others Affairs, WHY !!!

I have written in the past and feel like writing again; we Pakistani never learn to mind our own business. Poking nose into others affairs seems to be the best available hobby and time pass. In every other thing we bring the religion, talk of morality but when it come to human connection, we forget everything and start moral policing, passing judgements & envy of others. It reminds me of another story, Stephan Covey shared, he says, “There are two kinds of people, Deficient Mentality DM & Sufficient Mentality SM. DM people think that every resource is scare in the world, if someone gains something, he or she may be the victim or loser, seem like a Zero Sum Game, other people are SM, they believe that planet is bestowed to human being with abundance, if someone gains, it has nothing to do with his or her gain or loss, everybody runs their own race”. At times I just think for a moment, if one starts noticing or getting influence from people, start acting the way sick society want every human being to act, people would stop having their control over their destiny, the way they want to live, complete loss of freedom. I am glad that God has given us thoughts, or upbringing, that we tend to enjoy the freedom, live the way we want, keep blind eye to sick society. On my drive back home, I was sharing the same thoughts with my friend, her thought really inspired me and for a moment I thanked God that I am glad and lucky that I have got such awesome friends, with complete belief in personal freedom of thoughts and action.

Kissing Students, Exploring Youth, Hey What’s Wrong???

 I wanted to share a story my friend shared, he was back at his university; he was upset because of moral policing attitude of few guys there. It's weekend, music concert was also going on, few couple getting closer probably hugging and few of them ended up kissing and one girl was sitting on guys lap. He has seen people have no problem with their lives, they practice what they believe but they want every other person to follow the moral code as per his or her interpretation. All mullahs have also got problem with other people, they are concerned what others are doing! He just fail to understand, as long as someone is not bothering others, getting closer to someone or getting intimate with someone he or she adore. What’s wrong in it??? He believes that we have to live with it, let people have their freedom and follow the moral code that suits each one of us. Believe you , to him all these guys envy, what they can't do ' but they want to;-)" , if you leave them on a Greek naturist beach, they would be the first one to enjoy instant copulation on white sandy beach, without thinking about morality. He agrees, public places are to be spared but double standard of our society really sucks.

Sexplosion Hitting Hard the Conservative Societies; Is Pakistan Next?

Chile was once one of Latin America’s most sexually conservative countries. Today, youth of Chile are bumping and grinding to a reggaetón beat in urban discos, girls ages 14 to 18 are stripping off their shirts, revealing bras, tattoos and nipple rings. Sexplosion news on the front page of New York Times World News section and it made me wonder, what really made the most traditional society that followed social mores changed drastically. I came to know that there is unprecedented spending on technology and internet broad band. Chile’s youths are living in a period of sexual exploration that, academics and government officials say, is like nothing the country has witnessed before. “Chile’s youth are clearly having sex earlier and testing the borderlines with their sexual conduct. The sexual awakening is happening through a booming industry for 18-and-under parties, an explosion of Internet connectivity and through Web sites like Fotolog, where young people trade suggestive photos of each other and organize weekend parties, some of which have drawn more than 4,500 teenagers. The online networks have emboldened teenagers to express themselves in ways that were never customary in Chile’s conservative society. “We are not the children of the dictatorship; we are the children of democracy,” said Michele Bravo, 17, at a recent afternoon party. “There is much more of a rebellious spirit among young people today. There is much more freedom to explore everything.” Sex education in public schools is badly lagging, and the pregnancy rate among girls under 15 has been on the rise, according to the Health Ministry. Chilean society was shaken last year when a video of a 14-year-old girl eagerly performing oral sex on a teenage boy on a Santiago park bench was discovered on a video-hosting Web site. It made me wonder and to relate all in the context of conservative Pakistani society and impact of broad band internet and technology. Our society is drastically changing; teenage sexual expression in certain class is increasing. Teen girls or guys experimenting, exploring sex and trying out all sorts of drugs “may be” out of curiosity. Lack of proper sex education, may affect the generation badly, may result in teen pregnancies, excessive use of drug and alcohol, may result in loss of generation. All sort of gay parties in farm houses in suburbs of Karachi or Lahore are in groove, let’s see what comes next. Use of Hash “Katti” drugs is increasing in schools as well as in top business schools “I have witnessed myself”. Do we need to open up, talk and educate our kids or let us remain mum and let teen generation to explore and experiment the way Chilean society is doing?????

Check out Gay Party Video "In Pakistani Style in Islamabad"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VRm97Y76xg

What Gets in the Way of Us Connecting with Others?

I came across an interesting read, it is so true that expectation hamper the true humanly connection...yes.

It is Expectation. When we are expecting, we are not connecting - we are just waiting for affirmation. To really connect, to really relate, we need to be open and not just be looking to get our buttons massaged. Expectation is a kind of contraction.

Contracting is fear, and fear certainly blocks communication.

To truly sit in our most authentic place and let our games take a holiday...to really open our hearts...to truly see another....deeply....we also need to come from a place of not-knowing when we know all the answers, there's no room for discovery, no room for listening.

Heart. ah the heart. to open our hearts, to move through this complex, crazy, painful world, with our hearts wide open, knowing that we have room for everyone - cause our hearts are infinite chambers...to let go the past and all the rejections and the hurts and every time we were not seen or did not see to let go all the lifetimes of pain and rejection...to let it go, but not to deny it...not to lose our power and protection but to be strong and open and vulnerable at the same time....and meet each other right here, right now, not somewhere else - not later, and not earlier, just now.

oh to love like we were born to love. what if we could all just start doing that. can you imagine this world? if the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker would really look you in the eye with gods eyes looking at your eyes of god...if every interaction was a little tongue lick from one spark of divinity to another....how tasty this world would be!!!!

What…. Pre Marital Virginity Loss Party in Pakistan!!

Guys, you would be surprised to read a new version of STAG ‘guys’ party in town esp. in Karachi. It is called STAG PARTY “Pre Martial Virginity Loss Celebration”, OMG, hard to believe and see the way Pakistanis are catching up with the world.

Most of the party animals are un-married and they share their experiences of virginity loss. It is considered a prestige if someone losses it to a European along with a blast ‘super party’

It reminds me of North African post female clitoral circumcision party…..

Let us see what else is coming up on fast track esp. for Pakistani society.

Key clubs are another groovy concept, making en-route to Karachi.

Mars and Venus; Women are Mysterious??

Today I came across an interesting article on Mars & Venus, men and women difference.

It was a refresher of John Grey’s book Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus. This talk has always been interesting and intriguing.

So many times I have heard my male friends saying “Hard to understand women” so do women say “male are complicated”.

I totally agree that women are protective and nurturing with maternal instincts, mainly focused to home related priorities. It is well known that women are homemaker

It is common that men are not interested in people but love things, more focused on career and job related things and constantly improving skills and power. Very logical vis a vis emotional women ‘few exceptions are there :P”

Women are good at playing with tears I would call it secret weapons WMD “weapons of mass destruction” :P

Whenever I am at gym, our talk revolves around Politics, Business, Sports or Work at times some oldies love sensual talks but women love gossip and at times they get jealous too.

Men love sports more than anything and at times more time spent in front of tv watching sports rather than having attention on wife. People have coined an interesting term Sports Widow.

Women truly love shopping, its really a stress buster, even at times window shopping also result in self satisfaction.

Women love giving instructions to men and at times repeat same thing dozens of times. Guys, believe you me, at times they are nag bit too much :P Another thing which I talked with friends, women can do multi tasking but guys love focus. So it means men can focus well on one thing and women face distraction ;-)

Men really do selective listening they just nod but ears are closed. Hey, women beware of nodding un-attentive men.

Men love channel surfing, I guess on average we guys spent 2 minutes per channel. Boys love their toys ' i mean gadgets :P " a lot.

To sum up the whole men versus women scenario, we can safely say that they communicate differently and also think, perceive and react differently to various situations. Both sexes have problems identifying and comprehending the other’s issues. Men often have no clue what women want out of them and women have no clue what men want out of them, and that’s why life is so interesting ;-)

MISYAR; Marriage of Convenience or HALAL SEX

Recently I came across the word Misyar; it is a Sunni marriage contract with a difference. In Misyar, the man can marry another woman without informing his first wife from a traditional marriage. He has no obligation to support wife, there is no dowry to be paid. Ironically it is not public and kept secret.

It is practiced in Saudi, to them it is common belief that if woman remain single she will get into unlawful sex and guy should also marry three or four woman so that unlawful sex could be avoided.

In Egypt ‘short contractual marriages are called URFI marriage. If any woman is single or divorced, MISYAR can help get away with stigma of being single woman.

Marriage can last from 48 hours to a year with no obligation…..depend on sexual lust & orgasmic temperament.

Article hit me hard; we talk a lot about West & immoral sexual openness. Well, yes they are immoral but what is Misyar;

A contract, pay and have sex and dump after 48 hours, no obligation. To me moral difference in Arabic and Western society is simple.

Arab eat Halal chicken West eat Haram chicken, isn’t subjective, the notion of Halal Sex & Haram Sex !!!!!!

If one screws around & brand short term sex HALAL…..it is morally correct but straight short term Western sex is immoral and Haram .

Guys, world seems to me very very subjective so are religious-cultural norms.

Read this "http://www.dawn.com/2006/07/24/int14.htm"

Disgusting Sexual Harassment!!

I just fail to understand, why people resort to disgusting sexual harassment and in most of the cases victims are women and at times men.

If one is interested in having a relationship with someone, there are dignified and acceptable ways but opting for harassment is mind boggling.

If one looks at the definition it says “Sexual Harassment is any unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature." however on the other side, flirtatiousness, hormones or sexual desire is not forms of harassment.

World is opening up, yet people want to fulfill their desires through unwelcoming sexual advances…simply disgusting.

Past Haunts…… Its Irksome Feeling……

I have learned to live in present and to enjoy every bit of life, every minute, every hour, every day…. enjoy and live to the fullest. ….also learned to agree that life is too short to be nostalgic.

Also learned to develop a personal value system that is based on the belief system of being original… being true to self and to others no matter what society thinks. Listen to inner voice and act upon inner vibes.

At times one may feels as if one is being detached from reality, being individualistic and living in a shell of self denial and social isolation….but to me happiness lies in being true to self and listening to inner voice.

At times I struggle with relationship, materialism and past vague vibes leading to emotional agony.

I have also learned that every relationship is like a journey, one meets other… on the way, talk, share and part away when destination arrives. Move on with another journey and meet others, keeps going…..

But at times one feels that it’s the journey of lifetime ……leading to same destination and one continue with other as partner…….bitter reality check suggests that it is naivety ….material quest reign superior over emotions, intangibles and care….thoughts change, plan change, worth change…..

We live in a material world, human worth is measured with the length of the car, house and digits on salary slip as well the organization and designation…. how cruel the material world is!!!!!! Believe you me it is a nasty reality check. Hmmm it is called bitter truth known as practical way of living.

Past has made me scared of taking initiative in any future relationship......

At times I think…Hey world please stop, I want to get out…..you are too material…and I am too humane to live in material milieu.

Marriage of Convenience

After writing about sleeping with the enemy, and after reading a lot about politics over the weekend….. I felt like writing about the marriage of convenience. After so much flirt, marriage of convenience rule the political scene. We saw Zardari and Nawaz flirting in Bhurbhan ‘signing Marri Declaration” then follow up dating in Dubai and London. Finally, relationship teetering at the brink of disaster ended.

Both of them have parted away, watchdog or someone to check former love in Punjab has appeared on the scene as governor i.e., business tycoon Salman Taseer.

It seems PPP has married to establishment, both of them understand that marriage is not just emotional attachment it is much more than that…it requires a lot of practical consideration. It seems that PPP stand on lawyers and subsequent withdrawal of cases as per NRO suggests that marriage of convenience is the order of the day.

How practical these political maneuverings are, alas who is going to convince the naïve emotional crowd “AWAAM” that interests and convenience rein supreme in material world.

Whole relationship game in politics makes me confuse and for me it is hard to differentiate between political flirt, infatuation and love.Ufffff it makes me think haaaaaaaard very hard.

I promised to myself, that I won’t waste my time thinking about the politics of Banana Republic of Pakistan but ufffffff I can not resist the temptation over the weekend…I just can’t hold it….it is always healthy to let it go :P sighhhhhh …(to my male readers only) don’t be pervert I am talking about releasing the political thoughts here ;-)

Zardari must be singing the song…Jag Sara Jag Sara Nikhar Gaya…Huun Piyar Hoa….Mauja heee Maujaaan……Hunnnn Maujaan heee Maujaan…..Sham Saweray Maujan hee Maujaan… (Waisay Kareena looks awwwwwwesom in the song, cute smile)

Enough of politics I am going to listen to the song…..….gotta move your body...Gotta move yaaa…waisay it’s a Hindi song…not English walla :P

I Lost My Best Friend....

I never knew , it is more painful to lose a friend than love.......just wanted to share my feelings for my lost friend....some people come in life for a brief period but leave their marks that would remain rest of the life........

Want to share my poetry.......

I Lost My Friend

You started as a stranger,
So careful and yet bold.
I initially avoided you,
But then I got to know you,
And let myself unfold.

I told you all my secrets,
I shared with you my past.
This god given friendship,
It grew rather fast.

You were like my little buddy,
So much more than just a friend.
And when you needed comfort,

Remember, you were all broken & discarded,
Remember, you needed helping hand ,
My heart I would lend.

At night we stayed up crying,
Wishing we were dead.
The memories I have of you,
They linger in my head,
I wish i could get rid of past.

Like that time when we both vowed,
To never be apart.
I took it very serious,
Yet naively and locked it in my heart.

I miss the nights when we would laugh,
When we would cry,
And say what's on our mind.
And bless God that someone there,
To talk our mind ,
Act as if nothing was wrong,

And leave all worries behind.

But now at night I'm all alone,
My heart it cannot mend.
For when you took your life,
You also took my friend

Must watch this video......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoyf7Xc6M4c

Why women do not prefer ‘gentlemen’!!!

Japanese are one of the politest people on the earth but it was strange to find out that women do not prefer gentlemen, was little surprising to me!!

Women are complaining, hey guys take you chivalry, it is not wanted. Was surprised to read Japan Times that, disgust expressed by a 20 year old women as she recalls a man offering her his seat on a crowded train puts it in a sour nutshell: "What's he think I am — pregnant?"

Another woman complains that “It was our first date, and every time we got into the car,", "he'd hold the door opens for me. Why all the fuss? Surely once is enough!"

Some of the women even think that enough is enough; kindness pushed to extremes oppresses more than it soothes.

A 22 year old student recalls "Once I got sick at my boyfriend's house,", “I'm in the toilet throwing up, and he's standing right outside the door: 'Are you OK? Are you all right?' Well, no, I'm not OK, since I'm throwing up! I do appreciate his concern, but can't he let me puke in peace?"

I wonder how Pakistani women be thinking! Guess Pakistani men are smart enough to not to push extremes on kindness!!