Women, Depreciation, Sperm Donor & Marriage Pressure!!

Ageing women, depreciation, asset utilization and marriage pressure revolves around time. Asset is utilized in time, better kept; everyone knows depreciation ends up with salvage value and ultimate disposal. I am lucky enough that I have awesome thinking female friends, today we were sitting on comfy chairs facing grass on one side and sea on the other , discussion started with marriage age, family pressure and concept of depreciation. It is general belief that older one gets, chances of getting better proposal diminishes. Sooner one gets a life partner better it is. Ageing women’s life is like a depreciating asset, older the asset lower the value. Well, without arguing, discussion continued. We know that in the past average marriage age was 20 for woman, now there are many more financially independent working women, looking for happiness in relationship instead of getting married for the sake of it or accepting the family and peer pressure. 

During the discussion I came across another phenomenon, peer pressure, married woman influencing career oriented independent minded single woman. Few of my friends believe that marriage is not all about getting a ring and sperm donor; rather it is finding a partner for happy living. Fear of loneliness is another factor for independent minded single working women, they fear that what if their friends move on with their lives and ageing single women may end up living lonely life, to them marriage goal is companionship rather than finding a sperm donor. There is no harm in getting into an institution of marriage or pursuing an independent single life until one finds the right partner. Family and peer pressure is and will always be there if someone defies norms. I would rather say do not settle until you find true love or companion, happiness should be the ultimate goal beyond social pressure.

Modern Men Redefining Style!!!

You think being trendy and stylish is women’s domain, forget it, modern men are out there to redefine style. Lately I was at L’Oreal launch in Karachi, I saw men in casual to formal and trendy dresses, but what really amused me was “Men’s Jewelry”. Amin Guljee is one of the biggest names when it comes to jewelry design both for women and men, I still remember our interactions at SPA and his creative men’s jewelry designs always made me envy. Lately I was in Malaysia, I got to see, designers are devoting more time, attention and store space when it comes to Men’s Jewelry. I came across Men’s trend magazine, It says “men are showing desire to want to show their identity and they are at ease and confident enough to complement a watch with a bracelet, necklace or ring. I always loved sporty stuff, Columbia sportswear watch has always been my favorite, thin lined leather necklace with rustic jewelry is too boyish, I never go for it. I find Japanese businessmen wearing stainless steel, black diamonds or titanium rings. I would rather say these rings are common among younger men with an urban taste. Athletes have always been trendsetter in men’s jewelry but trendy stuff is getting into urban men. Let us see, what come ahead for modern men!!!

I Hate You !!!!

Whenever I discuss social issues with friends and look around chaotic societies, such as ours, I come across a lot of burning desire inside people and society, one may call it hate.Frankly speaking I may dislike people or things but hate is not my cup of tea. At times I wonder what really hate is and why do we hate???

Today I was scanning the online newspapers and came across New York Times, freakonomics section article “Why Do We Hate” ??It writes “What makes hate tick? How can we stop it?” These are the questions that Jim Mohr, director of Gonzaga University’s Institute for Action Against Hate, asks himself every day as he develops a new field of study around hate.Mohr explains that hates may be by-product of fear, greed and the desire to belong.

I never imagined, our universities would be conducting detailed studies on Hate Science !!!Everyone knows anti-Semitism, Aryans, Bosnia to all across Africa, hatred based on religion or nationalism is caused havoc to human civilization.

I tried to find out the real meaning of hatred, as per Aristotle “hate is the incurable desire to annihilate an object”, whereas Sigmund Freud defined it as an “Ego state that wishes to destroy the source of its unhappiness”Both definitions are deep enough to enable one to understand the emotional make up that is called HATE.

We know hate is part of all of us, but as civilized human being we have to learn to control it.People believe hate thrives in areas not illuminated by education, it is also believed that people dehumanize people and justify violence against others.

Let us wait for the hate study findings, hope we move forward as civilized and mature human society.

Women Suicide Bombers, Kill & Go to Heaven !!!

Women suicide bombers, a new phenomenon introduced during Iraq war. Every women bomber has different reason to go on killing spree, loved one’s death to religious reason. Lately I came across an interesting article published in prestigious Guardian; its title is “Inside the mind of a female suicide bomber”. It’s an interesting story of a woman, Baida, a suicide bomber jailed after her failed attempt to blow herself. She lost her father and brother; ironically she opted to blow herself. Her story is intriguing, living in an isolated community dominated by extremists, women in such areas are powerless, most of them have no control to make decisions such as whom to marry, how many children to have etc. It is yet another interesting fact, women choose to become suicide bombers for the sake of special destiny i.e., heaven, most of them put on make up and dress up before blowing. The surprising part I got to know was Baida’s explanation, she is clear “when it is halal ‘permitted’ to kill a person and when it is forbidden!!!! She justifies the killing of innocent American construction workers and she is willing to explode if anyone is Jewish. Another astonishing aspect I came to know, when interviewer was about to leave, Baida mentioned, had she not known the interviewer, she would have killed her. I just fail to understand, in certain societies, killing in the name of religion is so rampant, just to kill if one disagrees with others. There may be reasons but indiscriminate killing because of different faith or nationality is astonishing. How long this killing spree would continue in the name of religion, ethnicity, heaven and hell ?????

Mumbai Nightmare!!!

It was 26th Nov 08, one of the scariest morning people of Mumbai could ever imagined.10 gunmen carried a deadly rampage, targeting the India’s economic capital, Taj Hotel, Train Stations, killing 166 and injuring 300 people. It is one of the brutal acts of minority, killing innocent civilians, people of Pakistan condemn such acts and hope sanity prevails and hope the forces of violence would face defeat.

We always hope for a peaceful and prosperous South Asia.

Balochistan Package; Too Little Too Late!!!!!

 Enough is enough, I am going to go to mountains, apologize, hug them and say Big Sorry to our Baloch brothers “President Zardari” I am all for development, I have developed Balochistan, look around mega projects, there are only three sardars against the development “President Musharraf

The Balochistan is one of the regions with long history of struggle, pain, cry and blood. Finally we see yet another rhetoric 'time will tell' known as Aghaz e Huqooq e Balochistan “New Beginning for the Rights of Balochistan” has finally been presented in Parliament. As per the package, Army would be sent back to barracks, people believe that army treated everyone in colonial fashion, the way Israeli army treats Palestinian in West Bank and Gaza.

Under contraction Army Garrisons would be handed over to Frontier Constabulary, people believe that everyone knows the role of FC; lately bullets were sprayed on innocent men, women and children in Buleda. FC is one of the most hated forces in Balochistan is going to be stationed in Sui.

Government promised to conduct an inquiry on the killing of Nawab Bugti, well people reminds everyone that there is a long list starts with brutal and forceful invasion of the State of Kalat on 28th March 1948. It began with the humiliation of Khan Karim then killing of aged Nawab Noroze Khan to killing of over 5,000 innocent men, women and children during 70s, killing of Bugti and displacement of over 80,000 people. Ordinary people are skeptic and they believe, how would just one inquiry ‘we are not sure anyone acts on the findings’ heal over 60 years of pain and cry!!! As per package FC would report to Chief Minister, Baloch reminds us that everyone knows that Chief of Army Staff reports to Prime Minister but poor Bloody Civilian could easily be toppled by twenty to fifty men in Uniform. Package consists of constitutional, political and administrative clauses. It also talks about Political Autonomy but if one talks to people they do not want to hear the word Pakistan and their struggle is for the right of self rule. It also talks about transferring gas development surcharge from 1954 to 1990; people on the other hand want to have control over their resources instead of waiting for Islamabad’s transfer of few billions. To them its charity and they want the ownership. All political prisoners would be freed, people believe that State frorces have kidnapped hundreds and State denies that none is in the custody. Package says only people without serious charges will be freed, but people believe that every other person in custody has serious charges. People are skeptic, its need of the hour to trace back kidnapped/missing persons, if they were illegally detained, strong measures to be taken against the brutal forces. Scholarship for students announced but people want institutions not scholarships. 5,000 jobs announced, people don’t want jobs they ant to own the resources. There is extreme mistrust between State and Baloch, people think they are at war; whole issue is about the rights of resource ownership and it revolves around national and democratic question of Balochistan. People do not trust, they want UN intervention, a third credible party to ensure the rights of people. Lastly, I lament that no nationalist politician in Balochistan or in exile was consulted . Issue requires deeper understanding, to conclude, I would still say it is a good beginning to use it as confidence building measures but it is a long way to go!!!

America We Hate –Love You!!!!!

It was early November last year; I was on my way to Islamabad’s diplomatic enclave for my US Visa interview. I came across a long queue, full of religious men and women, long beards and Hijab to rock stars and aspiring youth. Women reciting Holy Quranic verses and I could hear ‘good luck in Urdu, i.e., Inshallah Hojaega”.

But ironically, I read range of papers writing that majority of Pakistanis hate America!!! For me it is difficult to see, who hates and why, all my friends who hate America, they love to be in America. When I see McDonalds, American lifestyle, jeans, music, movies, Pakistani are deeply hooked. Deeply religious people along with their families are usually found at McDonalds; even KFCs Iftar meal was deeply supported by religious consumers. Anyways, coming back from Islamabad, I got my visa, selected to represent Pakistan in US- Department of State International Visitors Leadership Program ‘IVLP’, I am glad I was one of the few lucky ones to be offered. This was a complete exposure trip and I got to see East Coast to Southern Biblical belt to Mormon Land in Utah to all the way to Seattle North West of US. Trip enlightened me to experience US first hand; there are so many positives beside American foreign policy. I found Americans friendly, hard working, diverse yet united, amazingly autonomous at grass root level, a place where non governmental organizations and charity play an important role. On the one side, one may finds wealth but on the other side capitalistic foul plays and systematic oppression is also evident. I came across an interesting interview on New York Times web, Pakistani rock star Ali Azmat to Noori showing hatred for America, but singing in American style. Blaming everything on US, fueled with conservative apologetics rhetoric and they deny condemning Taliban. Even one of the largest religious party’s leader's grand daughter lives in US and grandpa is running Anti American campaign.

Only one word comes in my mind “Hypocrite”. Most of the rich families, running hate America campaign, but their kids are at US universities, most of them speak English and their vacation destination is again US. I came across an interesting article in Washington Post and Daily Dawn, it argues that elites are mainly running the Anti American campaign in Pakistan, their survival is in Pakistan, most of them mint money through corruption, tax evasion etc. Poor struggles for piece of bread and only the middle class struggles hard and looks for safer avenues to continue life.Everyone urges US to woo middle class for serious change in the country, largely affecting the reigon. Within Pakistan, unless we have common goals benefiting all, the country will always teeter at the brink of disaster.

Confused Pakistanis Need Mullah Omar; Down With America !!!! Talibans aren't Monsters !!!!

Pakistani musicians believe, Taliban are not bad, they are non issue, it is infidel West and America 'Neo Cons' want to de-islamize the Pakistani society. I was shocked to hear, musicians represent the youth of Pakistan, influence them, coming up with the most cliched rhetorical crap along with lyrics based on conspiracy theory .To me, if someone says Gosh, Pakistanis do not deserve Taliban, i would rather say, no we deserve them. They destroy schools, kill civilians but our confused nation lines up with range of conspiracy theories all the way starting from CIA to Mosad and Raaw. Well, if India can find Pakistani hands behind Mumbai attack, they simply take it to international court and convince international forces with evidence. Our Commandos 'Sipah e Salar' in media make so much hue and cry but no evidence of xyz involvement has ever been shared . On the same issue, i came across an interesting New york Times article, it writes, "While Pakistani journalists, playwrights and even moderate Islamic clerics have boldly condemned the Taliban, the nation’s pop music stars have yet to sing out against the group, which continues to claim responsibility for daily bombings. The violence has no shortage of victims in addition to the dead: more than three million people have become refugees, and more than 200 schools for girls have been destroyed. And the musicians I spoke to have suffered as well, which makes it all the more surprising that they are reluctant to criticize the militants". Balochistan is the example of gross human rights violation, as per Human Rights reports, hundreds have been kept in jails without trial, disappearance of innocent is the order of the day. Political struggle is all about poor people living on the richest land asking for their due economic share as per constitution. Well, National Security State and its media simply sweeps it under rug through blaming India. Media, educated middle class, pop singers and corporate zombies have merely become patriotic conservative Islamic apologist just blaming everything on America !!!! I guess, our nation deserves Mullah Omar!!!!! "Watch Ali Azmat and Noori with their Patriotic Crap" http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/11/an-american-accent-to-pakistani-rock/

Meera & English Speaking Pakistani Class!!!

Meera has lately been talk of the media, recent video on facebook made me laugh on our English speaking proud Pakistanis. Once the video was made public, it was loaded by every other person on the facebook. Meera was on a show with ‘I guess’ Tappu Javeri, she was struggling with English sentence and constantly pronounced it wrong. Uff Meera’s struggle with English made every other person on the internet to have laughing strokes but most of them survived. Anyways, I am sure most of our so called partially educated English speaking class thanked God that they speak English and some of speakers with accent must had felt proud. In no other country language skills considered superior than the substance or the thoughts of an educated person. Unfortunately, so called educated English speaking class lack social consciousness and substance, focus more on linguistics skills than the actual knowledge base. No one denies the importance of English in today’s world but it is not the only criteria to judge a persons skill or depth. All of them who shared the video, must had been to colleges or universities and their comments made me laugh and depicted the depth of their academic profile. I am sad to see this in Pakistan, in entire globe, for instance during my last trip to Japan, I saw people giving a lot of importance to education not English or the language. In Pakistan, most of the elite make it to English medium schools to learn the language, when it comes to substance; unfortunately hollow generation is being developed. If English is the criteria than lets laugh out loud on majority of Pakistanis, I am sure they can not speak English.

Pakistan Fashion Week Goes Bolder!! We are Not Extremists!!

Whenever I talk to any of my friends in US, they think Pakistan is a place dominated by Taliban & their supporters. General perception is that women are forced to stay back home and streets are full of extremists with long beards and weapons. No way, it is not our Pakistan, there may be small tribal areas one may find such pictures but when it comes to Karachi, Lahore or Islamabad, we are moderate as well as modern in our outlook towards life. Lately Pakistan Fashion Week kick starts in my city Karachi, it was postponed, venue was changed, amidst threats from minority extremists but the show goes on. Karachi defies extremism and says no to barbaric minority " unfortunately its known fact that some elements in Pak security institutions do back such elements to maximize so called strategic gains, but Pakistani majority does not support all." Karachi shows the true image of the people of Pakistan. Hope western media depicts the other side of the coin where majority belong i.e., moderate and modern Pakistani society

 

Pakistan Pakistan Pakistan !!

I came across an interesting poetry, just wanted to share;

سوچ رہا ہے پاکستان نہ کوئی دھندا نہ کوئی کام

بم دھماکے، ٹریفک جام

جیتا مرتا ہے گمنام

ہو سکے نہ دونوں رام

طالبان، القاعدہ ادغام

مدرسے بند، تعلیم ابہام

این آر او صیاد کا دام

ساری تدبیریں ناکام

دنیا بھر میں پھر بدنام

ہوگا اس کا کیا انجام؟ سوچ رہا ہے پاکستان

My Love For Omar Khayyam !!

I came across Persian Poet Omar Khayyams Rubaiyat, preaching about living each day instead of worrying for future. His writings remind me the words STOP WORRYING AND START LIVING. His message is very powerful message and is still valid. Omar Khayyam, Iranian poet, philosopher, mathematicians, astronomer born in 1048 AD. His work translated by Fitz Gerald in English, making his work available for rest of the world. Here is his powerful Rubai, living life in Today instead of worrying for tomorrows reward. Alike for those who for TO-DAY prepare, And those that after a TO-MORROW stare, A Muezzin from the Tower of Darkness cries "Fools! your Reward is neither Here nor There." Ah, fill the Cup:—what boots it to repeat How Time is slipping underneath our Feet: Unborn TO-MORROW and dead YESTERDAY, Why fret about them if TO-DAY be sweet! One Moment in Annihilation's Waste, One moment, of the Well of Life to taste— The Stars are setting, and the Caravan Starts for the dawn of Nothing—Oh, make haste! How long, how long, in infinite Pursuit Of This and That endeavour and dispute? Better be merry with the fruitful Grape Than sadden after none, or bitter, Fruit. To celebrate his writing there are various active Omar Khayyam Fan Clubs, they meet and share his writings.

Hillary’s Hijab & Nilofar’s Parachute Jump!!

Hillary Clinton wore Hijab in her recent Pakistan visit, showing deep respect and understanding for Pakistani culture. Americans involved in foreign affairs do go through rigorous process of learning about their area of interests’ culture, language and values etc. On the one hand when I saw Hillary in Hijab, a question came in my mind, will any in US start calling Hillary a lady influenced by Islam, Pro Taliban or Pro Islam etc. On the other hand another question came in mind, if any Pakistani woman visits US, shakes hands, wear western dresses, will all of us ignore it, and accept it as if one was showing respect to US culture or brand her pro west and make hue and cry. I still remember the hue and cry, once Nilofar Bakhtiar, former Pakistani Minister for Tourism, opted for charity parachute jump in France. I remember the clerics stated that it was "an illegitimate and forbidden act, and that without any doubt, she has committed a great sin, and that Muslim women must stay at home and must not venture out uncovered”. We are so biased in our approach when it comes to women, we love regulating social behavior, and impose code of dressing etc, why don’t we let women to decide what to wear and what not !!!!!