Men's Grooming in Pakistan, Hhmmmmmm !!! Why Botox ??

Last week I was having talk with my friend, she lives in Philadelphia, I was talking about my interest in grooming, from facial to eyebrows threading, she came up with a word, and everyone is familiar with “Metrosexual”.

These days world is image conscious, at least I am, it’s not surprising that men are fast catching up to women when it comes to spending time and effort on their appearance. A study reveals that “The male grooming industry has grown by 800 per cent in the last seven years and men are a lot less afraid to admit that they use cosmetics regularly”.

Study further says “Considering these recent changes in a lot of men’s attitudes to their appearance, it shouldn’t really be surprising that things are already moving to the next level. Not only are men using more beauty products and spending more time and money on their looks but more and more men are choosing to take the quick route to looking younger and opting for Botox”.

“This trend for ‘boytox’ started in America but is now catching on in the UK too as an increasing number of men decide that they’d rather not wait for all the lotions and potions to take effect when there is an instantaneous solution available. The only problem is that Botox is a poison. It literally freezes the muscles in your face still, so you physically couldn’t move them even if you wanted to. Sure it gets rid of the wrinkles on your brow but it also means you can’t frown. And you can’t raise your eyebrows. Or really show any sort of expression at all".

Pakistani newspaper Daily Dawn writes, Asif Ali Zardari along with Nawaz and Shahbaz opting for male grooming products to look younger. Male grooming industry increasingly growing in Pakistan, when I go to Clippers, I find a lot of guys ‘mind it not gays’ experimenting with various facials, from herbal to chemicals, pedicure and threading. Who says, Pakistan men are not catching up with global trends?

Why Women Cheat??

We have so far heard a lot about a man cheating a woman but these days it’s equally relevant for woman. A study says, “the differences in men and women cheating is that men often cheat for physical reasons while women often have emotional reasons for cheating on their partner”. It was interesting to learn that the reasons why women cheat include loneliness, revenge, boredom and self esteem.

Way back I read a book Men Are from Mars & Women from Venus, it is so relevant that both planet approach relationship differently. Lately i had various discussion with my friend, on the the subject of men and women cheating , recently, I came across an interesting read that describes Physical and Emotional Reasons behind cheating. Loneliness is one of the primary reasons that women seek out affairs and cheat on their partner. If a woman is not receiving the attention she feels she deserves in a relationship, she may be tempted to seek that attention elsewhere and become involved in an affair.

Revenge has also become and increasing factor in why women cheat. The modern woman is no longer willing to sit back and accept the fact that their partner may cheat on them. If a woman confirms or even just holds a suspicion that their partner is cheating on them, they may be driven to engage in an affair of their own as an act of revenge.

Boredom may also factor into why women cheat. Their current relationship may have fallen into a rut and lost the excitement that it possessed in the early stages of its existence. Another reason why women cheat is a lack of self esteem. Women may feel that they are not getting an adequate amount of admiration from their partner and they may be tempted to cheat to affirm that they are still attractive and desirable. Men are not the only ones who cheat on their partners. It is becoming more and more common for women to be guilty of cheating. While women are beginning to cheat as often as men the reasons why women cheat are much different than the reasons why men cheat. The reasons for women cheating are tied tightly to emotional reasons .

Study finding is so relevant that even one can trace the same reasons in every society, be it Pakistani or any other.

Why World Does Not Trust Pakistan & Pakistanis???

Today one of my learned friend shared an interesting thought about trust “A Sufi once said that trust is like a rope, if it is not broken it looks good and strong, and once it is broken and knotted, it looks uglier and can not be trusted because it might break again”. Pakistanis live in outside world, in free societies, indulge into islamization of Western society, may be through violent means, getting training in Pakistan and going back and disturbing other societies. I was watching BBC, it was showing, Dagestan, a small Russian territory, it was peaceful, until youngsters started going to Pakistan to get Jehadi training. If Pakistan, runs Jehadi factory and disturb whole world, who the hell is going to trust expatriate Pakistanis!!! Who the hell will not look them with suspicion!! I remember, reading the book DESCENT INTO CHAOS by Ahmed Rashid ‘well known Pakistani journalist’ saying that General Kiyani once talked on telephone which was intercepted by Americans, he called Taliban leader, Jalal Uddin Haqani an ASSET. We are an allay of US in war on terror, yet calling an enemy a friend, who is going trust us???????

The other day i was watching TV drama on Geo, it is about life of South Asian expatriate community living in London. Indians hooked English men & women to Indian food, music, culture, dresses, bollywood.....a rich culture won respect for Indians but on the other sides Pakistanis confused and trapped between culture and religion, nothing to offer but everyone view them with suspicion.

The Reluctant Fundamentalist “Love & Hate Relationship with US”

Lately I came across an interesting book; The Reluctant Fundamentalist, it is a novel by Mohsin Hamid that was published in 2007. The novel takes place during the course of a single evening in an outdoor Lahore cafe, where a bearded Pakistani man called Changez tells a nervous American stranger about his love affair with, and eventual abandonment of, America. The Ego Magazine did an interesting review of the novel, it writes “Much like the narrator Changez in his new novel “The Reluctant Fundamentalist” Pakistani novelist Mohsin Hamid grew up in Lahore, went to college at Princeton, worked in a corporate firm in New York, and felt compelled to return to Pakistan following the events of 9/11, giving him the starting point to get inside the thoughts of an “outsider” in the aftermath. Written in the form of an extended monologue delivered by Changez, a foreigner who has embraced the Western world only to find himself repulsed by it, the novel packs a powerful punch that is nothing short of breathtaking. Hamid says, “By allowing readers to feel what that man feels, I hope to show that the world is more complicated than politicians and newspapers usually have time for.”

Novel gives a good account of a guy falls in love with America, and then comes back to Pakistan. His hatred towards America grows and tries to find out superiority of Pakistani society. More and more, it is as if he is trying to convince himself of the moral and historical rightness of his return journey to Pakistan.

It is fun read for those who want to migrate but what if they fail to gel in the foreign land the plight would be similar to Mohsin Hasid’s novel character CHANGEZ.

Balochistan; Human Development from 7th Century Millennium BC, Way Ancient than Moan Jo Daro “Indus Valley Civilization” of 2,600 BC.

Last month I met Dr Ute Franke of Germany at Goethe Institute Karachi, she was there to share her archeological research findings with Karachites. She forwarded me a detailed copy of her archeological findings; it is so recent that many of my friends are unaware that Balochistan witnessed Human Development from 7th millennium BC, whereas Moan Jo Daro “Indus Valley Civilization” existed around 2,600 BC. Egypt entered its 7th millennium in the year 2000, whereas Balochistan entered into 9th millennium , the fact very few people know about it !!  Dr Franke shared the research study, titled “Balochistan and the Borderlands”, she writes “Balochistan is a huge landmass that extends from western Pakistan into southeastern Iran and southern Afghanistan and separates the open alluvial plains of the Indian subcontinent from the Iranian Plateau.  It is the largest part of the Indo-Iranian borderlands which also include parts of the North- West Frontier Province, Kandahar, and Hilmand Provinces in Afghanistan, and Sistan/Balochistan in Iran. These regions formed, at times, a cultural landscape linked through traits such as architecture and artifact styles, interpreted as evidence for exchange, shared technologies, values, and ideas. In Balochistan, human development from the seventh millennium BC onwards, from mobile food hunters and gatherers to sedentary communities based on farming and animal husbandry, has been uncovered.  Increasing levels of complexity in economy and technology, social and political organization, accompanied by a population growth and settlement expansion, fostered the development of villages, towns, and cities and provided the basis for urbanization and state formation. Throughout, this tradition maintained a distinctive character, notwithstanding regional differences and changing patterns of interaction. The purpose of this paper is to outline this development, with a focus on Balochistan. In order to understand the preconditions and to assess its role, we will first discuss the natural conditions that govern human life and then look at the cultural communities that formed the conceptual landscape. She concludes her paper saying “It has become evident that human development is manifested in Balochistan from the seventh millennium onward. While this development was, in genera l, continuous, regional differences and changes in the material culture through time were present. The emerging picture does not reflect a ‘monocultural’ region, but a patterned landscape, marked by the appearance and disappearance of particular cultural styles. Looking at the cycles of growth, expansion, and abandonment, it becomes clear that in cultural terms, prehistoric Balochistan was neither a border nor a frontier, but a dynamic interact ion zone. Nevertheless, the communities that made the processes described above happen did not be come integrated into a large scale, coherent entity, not withstanding the fact that smaller regions, such as southeastern Balochistan and Sindh Kohistan, were closely interrelated during the early third millennium BC. One likely reason why a large-scale merger did not happen probably is the rugged topography. The importance of terrain as determining factor becomes clear when we look at the region’s more recent history. As in Afghanistan, expanding conquerors and empires, be it Dareios or Alexander the Great, nomadic tribes from the north, or the British army, had their hold on Balochistan because it was important as a trespass. But they never ruled it for long – and they left very few archaeological traces. Whenever possible, preference was given to the maritime route and water ways, or the open plains. Only then, it was considered a barrier and it never regained the economic and cultural prosperity of its prehistoric past when it was a center in its own right which participated in and contributed to regional development processes.”

Central to Dr Franke's research was area mainly SOHR DAMB/NAL and French team was focused to MIRI QALAT, SHAHI TUMP and DASHT PLANE. 

Rape Victims Are the ‘Criminals’!!!!

Whenever I read or hear any story related to RAPE, the Hudood Ordinance comes in my mind, it is a law in Pakistan enacted by Zia in 1979. Many of my friends are unaware about the bitter fact of life, a women is subject in so called Islamic Republic of Pakistan.

I was shocked to hear from one of my Parliamentarian friend, he narrated a story of a blind girl of Lahore, who was brutally raped by two men ‘they were father and son’, blind lady pleaded in front of the court, because she could not produce four witnesses, she was jailed for committing adultery.

Following text is intended to share with my friends for broadening their perspective, a step towards creation of social awareness leading to better society, where rights of women are protected. Here is Hudood Ordinance excerpts;

The ordinance has been criticized as leading to "hundreds of incidents where a woman subjected to rape, or even gang rape, was eventually accused of Zina" and incarcerated.

The ordinance is most criticized for making it exceptionally difficult and dangerous to prove an allegation of rape. A woman alleging rape is required to provide four adult male witnesses of good standing of "the act of penetration". In practice this is virtually impossible as no man of good standing would stand there and watch the violent act. Failure to find such proof of the rape places the woman at risk of prosecution for accusing an innocent man of adultery, which does not require such strong evidence. Moreover, to prove rape the female victim has to admit that sexual intercourse had taken place. If the alleged offender, however, is acquitted for want of further evidence the woman now faces charges for either adultery, if she is married, or for fornication, if she is not married.

Selling Virginity for a Cause!!

Sex has always been a taboo subject; it is viewed differently in every society. Recently Alina an 18 year old Romanian virgin surprised the world, auctioning her virginity on internet to a stranger to pay for her school fee. It may seem good to few and many may raise their eyebrows, to me, in the end of the day it is the personal decision. Many may question, be it once or twice or thrice it is just like prostitution. Selling sex is banned in many civilized societies be it US or Canada but sex with consent is a personal decision in free societies. At times to me norms and values seem too subjective, it is at times very difficult to agree what majority preaches or one may defy majority and move on with his or her personal set of norms and values. As human society is progressing and moving on, so is the social perspective towards sex and sexuality. At times I fail to understand why women are subject to harsh social controls when it comes to sexuality, whereas men enjoy sexual freedom without any attached stigma. Well, coming back to Alina, she spent the night with the Italian businessman after the mystery stranger bid £8,782 and flew her to a Venice hotel. Alina — who said she needed the cash to study computing at university — revealed. Alina, who underwent two medical examinations to prove she was a virgin, admitted: “I felt a bit nervous.” But she said of her first sexual experience: “I liked it.”

The petite Romanian added: “I hoped I'd meet a nice man, like in the film Pretty Woman. The teenager from Caracal insisted: “It’s not like prostitution because it was a one-off — and I did this for good reasons.”

Baloch Society is all about Honor & Revenge!!

If one asks me the core values that prevails in Baloch society, my answer would be simple, it is Honor and Revenge. History tells us the same story, British took to govern the empire that now constitutes Pakistan through an approach or a formula, it says, `Rule the Punjabis, intimidate the Sindhis, buy the Pushtun, and honor the Baloch. British learned the core values that prevails in Baloch society and history is witness that they hard cordial relationship with the subject, they knew the empire building tactics. On the other side if one looks at the history of Balochistan after the creation of Pakistan, one would find constant disgrace of Baloch followed by humiliation. Be it forced annexation of March 1948 or killing of Khan Karim , or disgrace of 80 year old Mr. Naurooz Khan, deceiving through false promises and using Holy Quran , trapping him to lay arms which was followed by his disgraceful hanging at an old age. Be it 1970s army operation, killing of thousands of innocent or recent humiliation by President Musharraf, threatening, saying Baloch would not know what would hit them, to him Baloch are traitors and to be dealt with disgraceful fashion. Killing of Bugti or Balach, thousands of men and women already disappeared, physically assaulted and sexually abused are examples of disgrace. Unfortunately, most of the Pakistanis do not know Baloch history, society, values, had they known the importance of Honor, we would not have been facing present day crisis. If one humiliates Baloch honor it would be followed or responded with the instinct of revenge. After so much Pakistani humiliation, to me whole Baloch society is fueled with the fire of revenge. Solution to Balochistan problems requires deeper understanding than just passing statement that it is foreign hand, helping Baloch traitors. Revenge of history is painful, it is high time to not to be ignorant.

Changing Dynamics of Sardari System in Balochistan!!

Baloch society is at the verge of a change, it is an evolution which is abnormal and forced by the present circumstance. Change is all about the transformation of sardari influence to Politicized Balochistan. There was a time, institution of politics was managed or influenced by the sardar(Tribal Chief) . In general, sardar used to have narrow tribal outlook but change is knocking at the door. In the past Bugti, Mengal and Marri were the sardars along with political influence, however as we see in the case of next generation i.e., their sons, we do not find Bugti, Mengal or Marri’s elder son influencing the society as sardar. Sardar Attaullah’s nephew, Asad Ullah Mengal , is sardar today but political Akhtar Mengal has more influence, similarly Marri’s elder son Changez is logical heir but people recognize political late Balach or Haair Beyaar, In the case of Bugti, his grandson , ‘Salem’s son’ Mir Aali is on the way to Dera Bugti to claim his sardari but people and society has deep respect for political Brahmdag . On the other hand, historically, Khanate “Khan of Kalat” was supreme sardar in Balochistan; no body knew Mr. Suleman Ahmed Zai, until he turned political and called a Jirga on present day political issues of Balochistan. Chief of Jhalawan Mr Aslam Raisani or Chief of Sarawan Mr Sanaullah Zehri, being the superior sardars are less powerful than political Haair Beyaar, Akhtar Mengal or Brahmdag. It is the politics that is driving forward the social dynamics and influence of sardar is declining. If one looks at the political institution, it has connected Baloch middle class with political leadership from sardar family. Politicians with sardari background, instead of narrow tribal, group outlook, they are visualizing Baloch and Balochistan, as a whole, irrespective of social status of agroup. To me, if I conclude, at times good things happen in bad times, I am glad that politicization of society and declining influence of the institution of sardar is going to benefit Baloch society more than the medieval sardari narrow outlook. One should not ignore the changes on ground taking place; this will have far greater impact on regional political dynamics as well.

What’s Wrong with Baluchistan???

Being a Baluch I am often asked a question regarding Baluch struggle against strong center, I usually end up responding to the question with historical snapshot…. Recently a Special Report published by US Center for International Policy title “Pakistan the State of the Union, by SELIG S. HARRISON. Let me share snap shot of the report to respond to the question What’s Wrong with Baloch !!! Never Been Part of Pakistan Movement: Neither the Baluch nor the Pashtuns supported the Pakistan movement. In contrast to the Baluch and the Pashtuns, some Sindhis did support the Moslem League, and Sind was incorporated into Pakistan peacefully Lahore Resolution; A Deception: The Muslim League sought unsuccessfully to win them over by pledging in its Lahore Resolution of March 23, 1940, that the projected Pakistani state would be a confederation in which the constituent units would be “autonomous and sovereign” and central government powers would be limited to defense, foreign affairs, foreign trade, communications and currency. But the Baluch fought militarily against their incorporation into Pakistan until the Pakistan Army occupied Baluchistan in 1958, and they have subsequently waged three insurgencies to win the autonomy promised in the Lahore Resolution or, failing that, independence. Frequent Army Action in Colonial Fashion: From 1973 to 1977, some 80,000 Pakistani troops were needed to defeat insurgent forces; in 2005, six Army brigades were needed, plus paramilitary forces totaling more than 25,000 men. Punjab’s Loot & Plunder of Economic Resources ; A Reality Check: Punjab’s per capita income of more the $80 compares with $54 for Baluchistan; the literacy rate in Punjab is seven times higher than that of Baluchistan, and the infant mortality rate in Baluchistan (130 per 1,000 live births) compares with a national average of 70. One glaring example of Punjabi economic exploitation is that Baluchistan does not get a fair share of the benefits of its own gas deposits. Although gas obtained from Baluchistan accounts for 30 percent of Pakistan’s total gas production, Baluchistan consumes only 17 percent of its own output, while the remaining 83 percent goes to the rest of the country, primarily to the Punjab The central government charges a much lower price for Baluchistan gas than for gas produced in other provinces and pays lower royalties. Sui gas is extracted under the direct control of the Pakistan armed forces and interfering with access to the gas has repeatedly been a goal of Baluch insurgents. Baluchistan has some 19 trillion cubic feet of undeveloped gas reserves, six trillion barrels of undeveloped oil reserves and extensive copper and gold deposits that cannot be developed until a political accommodation is reached with the Baluch leaders. At present, 22 foreign investment ventures in Baluchistan licensed by the central government are paralyzed because Baluch leaders challenge the right of the central government to conclude these licensing agreements without Baluch participation that will assure the Baluch populace an equitable share of the benefits of future profits. Zia Representing Army Believe Baloch are SAVAGE: a conversation with the late President Zia Ul-Haq, a Punjabi, on March 8, 1980, Zia, referring to the Baluch, said that “some of them are almost savages, not like the rest of us.” Members of the minorities often cite the statement by former President Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto in his submission to the Supreme Court shortly before his execution.

Pakistani Media Needs to Spend Time in US

These days’ Pakistani media is completely running the sensational news and making people confused, high hopes to low hopes. Instead of constructive discussions, they are just confusing people with news that gets published in New York Times.

Few months back I was part of US IVLP Exchange Program, attended over 50 lectures in various states, visited Capitol Hill and their Congressional Committees. During my visit, I never came across any newspaper initiating debate on the basis of something that gets published in some other newspaper.

If some non important US senator says something about Pakistan to any media, whole Pakistani media diverts complete attention to the news as if world is falling apart for Pakistan.

Whole media fails to understand the big picture, what US grand strategy for the region is? What are their interests? What is the diplomatic US language and message they want to communicate?

As a student of International Relations, I lament to say that Pakistani media fails to understand all.

I at times feel that important media person should be part of any US exchange program, to go there attend few lectures, visit Congress, and then they may understand what Congress is? What congressional committees are? What’s lobbies and senators media talk means to national US policy vis a vis Pakistan.

I guess after visiting US, they may understand and calm down and use logic instead of making people confused with sensational media.

I hardly watch TV but to me most of the media freedom has created electronic TABLOIDS